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On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “detached from reality”, he explains. “You are on cloud nine and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I’m better than them … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

For Spring, these times of heightened ego are typically followed by a “emotional downturn”, during which he feels overwhelmed and self-conscious about his behavior, making him especially susceptible to criticism from external sources. He first suspected he might have NPD after looking up his traits online – and was later evaluated by a clinician. But, he questions he would have taken the label without having previously arrived at that understanding personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – particularly if they feel beliefs of dominance. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve built up. And in that mindset, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

Although people have been identified with narcissism for more than a century, the meaning can be ambiguous what people refer to as the term. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states a leading researcher, who believes the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he suggests many people hide it, as there is so much stigma associated with the condition. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to bolster one’s self-esteem through actions such as pursuing power,” the expert clarifies. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

While three-quarters of people found to have the condition are men, findings suggests this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that women with NPD is typically appears in the covert form, which is under-identified. Male narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, similar to everything in society,” says a young adult who shares content on her dual diagnosis on digital platforms. Frequently, the two disorders appear together.

Personal Struggles

“I really struggle with receiving negative comments and not being accepted,” she shares, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I often enter defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is sometimes referred to as “ego wounding”, she has been working to manage it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her previous life. My past relationships were toxic to my partners as a teenager,” she reveals. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she explains she and her partner “maintain an agreement where I’ve instructed him, ‘If I say something messed up, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mainly in the care of her father and says she lacked healthy examples during development. I’ve had to teach myself over the years which behaviors are acceptable versus unacceptable to say in conflicts because I lacked that guidance growing up,” she shares. Every insult was fair game when my household were belittling me when I was growing up.”

Underlying Factors of NPD

Conditions like NPD tend to be linked to childhood challenges. Heredity is a factor,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to manage during childhood”, he states, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting specific standards. They then “continue to use those same mechanisms as adults”.

In common with many of the individuals with NPD, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The 38-year-old says when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve high marks and career success, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “good enough”.

In adulthood, none of his relationships lasted. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he admits. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of forming deep connections, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, in a comparable situation, has difficulty with feelings. She is “very supportive of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he says – it was actually she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his general practitioner, he was directed to a therapist for an assessment and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for talking therapy through national services (a long period of therapy is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the waiting list for a year and a half: It was indicated it is likely to occur maybe February or March next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a handful of people about his NPD diagnosis, because “negative perceptions are widespread that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, personally, he has come to terms with it. The awareness assists me to comprehend my actions, which is always a good thing,” he explains. Those interviewed have acknowledged their condition and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the condition. But the presence of NPD content creators and the expansion of online support communities indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number